DESIGN

HOLIDAY IN OLUDENIZ #1

ENG: This story of our holiday happened last October, however the translation of my Hungarian diary of it took me a while. Never mind, right on time – it is summer, time for some holiday fun…

oludeniz, turkey, summer holiday, blue lagoon
Image source: Google

Finally the day we’d been longing for arrived. We packed, waxed, shaved and washed all remaining hair and body parts, then set off. Our dear taxi driver was kind enough to show off his racing skills contributing to the already high level of my excitement.

Just this once we arrived to the airport on time, where I was proud to introduce my carefully chosen “Argos-extra-light-metal-framed-half-priced-superluggage”. It took Tom 20 meters to figure out why it had been on sale. Needless to say, I found any kind of further reasoning pointless. Anyway, we got ourselves the perfect Sudoku set – mind you 4 hours of traveling-, even bought a pair of those neck pillows I’d always wanted to try. Well, either I have a weird neck, or they are pretty much useless. We got to the gate, boarded the plane being happy there were no screaming kids, just well behaved adults all in holiday mode.

oludeniz, turkey, summer holiday, blue lagoon, fashion
I almost looked like this when departing…
Image source: Google

Our enthusiasm lasted approximately 20 minutes, when an Ogre sat down in front of me. With all his “coolness” he set back his seat, which could barely hold him anyway, and after letting everyone around him know how big of a loon he was, he started to snore, which pretty much lasted throughout the whole flight. Occasionally he throw back his hand on the top of his seat right into my face, which was a rather disturbing experience. He must had been peeling potatoes for a week, then had gave himself a manicure with his teeth, leaving just chunky pieces of what once must had been fingers.

dirty fingernails
Something like this!!!!!
Image source: Google

I tried all my breathing techniques to soothe myself, even including some random seat kicking, just to share my mysery with the Ogre, but nothing seemed to help. Tom occasionally held my hands with sympathy, even knitted his brows, but that did not help either. My personal space was being raped for more than 4 hours!

The sun had already set on Dalaman, when we arrived. Tom immediately stated it was a shame we didn’t speak any Turkish, so I showed off my basic knowledge by replying – ‘Süküdüm, süküdüm’. I still have no idea whatsoever about its meaning, just recalled this line from Tarkan’s influence on my adulthood in the 90’s (please do not judge).

tarkan, turkey, sikidim
Do you remember? Kiss, kiss…
Image source: Google

Obedient us, we joined the line for the Visa despite my mother’s advice. She said we didn’t need it anymore, however Slovakia was still on the airport’s list, plus, you know what the herd instinct does to people. Well, better be on the safe side. The customs officer looked at us like we were some UFOs. First of all, how could we possible had a Slovak passport arriving from London, second, we do NOT need a Visa to enter the country, so bugger off. Once again, we obeyed, and now officially started our Turkish adventure…

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HU: Vegre elerkezett a nagy nap, melyre oly ahitottan vartunk. Nagy nehezen becsomagoltunk, meg hajat mosni is volt idom es delutan egykor elindultunk. A kedves taxisofor ur nem restellte a sebesseget valtani, nyomta a gazpedalt rendesen, ahogy csak birta – ezzel is hozzajarulva amugy is fokozott nyugtalansagomhoz. A repteret kivetelesen idoben elertuk, kipakoltunk a taxibol, mire Tomas mosollyal konstatalta, hogy nagyszeru valasztas volt reszemrol az ubernagy-szuperkonnyu-mamakocsi. Termeszetesen en valasztottam, Argos fajta. Tobbszori figyelmeztetes utan is hatarozottan hittem benne, hogy en majd talalok olyan utazotaskat, ami nagy is, konnyu is es arban is megfelel. Alaposan megneztem harom lehetoseget, majd kivalasztottam a tokeletes peldanyt. “Pihekonnyu aluminium vaz, valoban kecsegteto meretek, raadasul felaron kaphato” – erveltem. Dragam miutan meglatta es huzta 20 metert csak annyit mondott, hogy “Okkal”. Ennyi. Innentol kezdve feleslegesnek ereztem barminemu tovabbi alatamasztasi kiserletet.

Na szoval, ottvagyunk, hogy a repter. Itt abszolvaltuk a szokasos procedurakat, kivalasztottuk a megfelelo Sudoku szettet is, elvegre 4 oras repuleshez kell valami szorakoztato a snapszerkartyan kivul. Meg nyakvankost is vettunk – mindig is vagytam egy ilyenre, igy most beszereztuk-, megintcsak megjegyzem 4 ora utazas, hatha szundi lesz, es akkor azt rendesen, elvegre nyaralunk. Elertunk a gephez is, beszalltunk, orultunk, hogy nincsenek ordito, bogo gyerekek, csak felnottek, azok is mind relax fazisban, ugyhogy irany Oludeniz.

A kezdeti lelkesedes kb 20 percig tartott, amikor is egy angol Ogre, abbol is a legparasztabb fajta atult az elottem levo ulesbe. Egyebkent is alapbol meghajlott alatta, de neki ez nem volt eleg, meg extran hatra is hajtotta azt (mint ahogy a buszokon lehet, WTF). Bennem a pumpa hirtelen kezdett el maximumon dolgozni. Probaltam legzogyakorlatokkal kompenzalni 1-2 terdlokest is belekoreografalva, hatha veszi a lapot, de a kedves utas varazslatos modon 5 percen belul magas decibelen horkolni kezdett egyik kezet fejen pihentetve, amirol az ujjak pont a kepembe logtak. Hat, mit mondjak: minimum kruplit szedett a foszer egy hetig, aztan pedig tobol ragta meg az osszes kormet. Mondanom sem kell, hogy a sonkas kiflik rameso resze megmaradt a taskamban.

Kedves utitarsunk 4 oran keresztul folyamatosan update-lt bennunket hogyleterol sohajok, oklendezesek, kulonfele szelek, hangok kiadasaval. Tulajdonkeppen all inclusive kaptunk mindenbol, amit egyebkent mas, kulturalt ember szerenyen meghagy maganak (vagy legalabbis titokban osztja meg a tobbiekkel). Tomas dragam olykor egyutterzoen megfogta a kezem, es a nagyobb hatas kedveert meg a szemoldoket is osszerancolta. Ez sajnos mit sem valtoztatott a tenyen, hogy az egyebkent is korlatolt szemelyes teremet folyamatos atrocitas erte.

Mar sotet volt, amikor vegre megerkeztunk Dalamanba. Dragam maris konstatalta, hogy egy kukkot sem tudunk torokul, mire feszeregve ravagtam, hogy: “Sukudum, sukudum”. A mai napig fogalmam sincs, hogy mit jelent, csak emlekszem Tarkan cuppogos dalara, merthogy anno ez mekkor slager volt (de nem is biztos, hogy ez abbol van).

A repteren serenyen bealltunk a vizum sorba, pedig anyuka mondta meg otthon, hogy mar nem kell. Biztos, ami biztos alapon, meghat a listan SK is ottvolt kivartuk a sorunkat. A vamos neni ertetlenul nezett rank, hogy eloszor is hogy van nekunk szlovak utlevelunk Londonbol erkezven, masodszor pedig amugy sem kell vizum, mehetunk. Anyukanak igaza volt. Az utlevelesek is ugyanugy kakukkmadarnak neztek – megkaptuk a pecsetet, a taskakat is megtalaltuk, dobtunk a pipeknek is (megj.: felvideki szleng a pisilesre), irany a terminal. Legalabbis mi azt gondoltuk, kulonben is, azt mondtak, hogy majd itt var rank a taxis…

FOLYT. KOV.

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